one time my sister told me about this kid with a horrible peanut allergy who wouldn’t shut up and then the teacher turned around and was like “maybe if i shove a peanut down your throat you’ll shut up” and the whole class just went silent
(Source: spicesandvirtues, via pizza)
why is being alive so expensive
You spelled “suck” wrong.
???????????????????????????????
i literally can’t even tell what you’re trying to say
- why is being alive so suck
- why is being alive suck
- why is suck
- suck is being alive so expensive
- why suck so expensive
?????
(via pizza)
I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.
(Source: shesdonejim, via pizza)
(Source: adambrodys, via loganlurman)
(Source: lerman-addiction, via annlerman)
(Source: trisedprior, via annlerman)
